This month, this blog post is for the guys! There is so much online nowadays that focuses around women's mental health. Of course, that is important but should we really be telling men to be stronger? Mental health should be equal no matter your gender. The common stigmas that men face daily such as 'are you a man or a mouse' or 'real men don't cry' all contribute to worse mental health. I have always said, never say what you wouldn't want to hear because it is damaging and hurtful. Believe it or not, male suicide rates are twice the amount as womens worldwide. This is something that needs addressing rather than ignoring.
How it all started...
For many generations, men have had to put on a front that wears them down daily but if that front slips just for a moment, they are suddenly considered to be weak and no longer a 'proper man.' But not many people consider that men are still human. Whoever has a beating heart and lungs full of air is alive. They have feelings and emotions regardless of gender but many years ago, men had roles to fill that required them to be completely 'macho' and not much of anything else. Even to this day, you may hear the older generations talking about the good old days when 'men were real men' as they see modern day men as being 'snowflakes' for being offended more easily and showing any type of emotions. It was common for men to be brought up through punishment and violence to make them 'tougher' but in most cases, it eventually created mental health issues. Sometimes, the men that had them were not even aware that they were present or they were taught to hide their struggles.
Hundreds of years ago, every man on Earth had to be an 'alpha male' and take care of their family. Fighting to prove their manliness was a common thing and nobody ever saw a man cry. They had to cry alone (if they dared to cry at all). They had a public appearance to upkeep. Women were seen as the weaker sex, the emotional ones who needed a good strong man to take care of them. It is almost as if men were expected to have no human emotions at all.
Men's Mental Health Today:
As we are in the year 2022 and heading into 2023, you would think that male mental health is just as important as female mental health. But shockingly, that is not the case. Millions of men across the globe shy away from mental health and don't bother to address their own feelings or speak out. They would rather suffer in silence than have the world judge them for being a 'cry baby' or being 'too weak to be a man.' Just because men are scientifically stronger than women in a physical sense, it shouldn't mean that they are expected to be stronger mentally.
The sad truth is that bad mental health doesn't care what gender you are. It can strike for anyone at anytime. I once heard someone say that you don’t understand bad mental health until it happens to you and that is a very true statement. I believe anyone who has never had to suffer with mental health conditions are very lucky and may not fully understand what it is like for your own mind to be your worst enemy. I have been around good strong men my whole life. A lot of them suffer greatly with depression and anxiety and they have to fight their way through the days to get by. I have seen the harsh realties that a lot of men are forced to live in. They lock away all of their emotions and even try to deny them to themselves. They hate to confront their own feelings because they have been taught by society that feeling such things is wrong.
How should society treat men?
This may be an obvious thing to mention and it shouldn't even by a question that we need to ask in this day and age but it needs discussing more. Women don't exactly have it easy with mental health either, so that definitely needs to be taken into consideration. But the fact is, men hardly ever get the same compassion about mental health as women do. This is something that definitely needs to change before it drives any more men to suicide. Look at it this way. If you had two children, a boy and a girl and they were badly injured and both crying their hearts out, would you only take one of them to hospital? Would you care more about the female child than the male just because of their gender? No. If it's a helpless child, we tend to treat both genders equally and we don't judge them for crying out in pain. This should be the same with mental health. Men and women should be treated equally when they have mental health issues or they are struggling mentally. Equality is key. Just because bad mental health isn't visible, it doesn't mean it is not as important as physical health.
Society needs to remember that judging a man for showing his emotions is like judging an old lady for having a severe illness. Neither happen by choice and both need addressing with the same amount of compassion. Some may say that this statement is a little overly dramatic, but I believe that is the way that we need to start thinking about mental health in general if we want real change. In an ideal society, a man could walk down the street in tears and not have one person give him a judgemental glare. Just as a woman can cry to her friends without them laughing at her expense. So, be the change in our society that everybody wants deep down. Always treat people how you would want to be treated. Are you the type of man that would think 'wow is that man really crying? How spineless!' If you are (and I know there are a lot of men out there who think like this...) then how would you feel if you had been bottling your emotions up for months on end, you finally broke down and couldn't hold it in any longer and everyone around you laughed and judged? Do not make anyone feel bad for having feelings, EVER!
Reminders for Men:
Take a good look at the picture on the left.
It needs to be more known that no man is weak for expressing his emotions. If you are a man that has been hiding in your own mind and making sure that your true emotions don't shine through, know you are not alone. Yes, I am a young woman but I have witnessed the horrors of mental health on men and men not talking always makes their suffering worse. So please, if you are a man suffering in silence alone, try to reach out to someone you trust. I am always here for anyone who needs me if you would rather talk to a stranger who understands. Try opening up and you will be surprised at the response, you never know, you may even feel proud of yourself. Just remember, being a man is not about keeping up a tough exterior, it's about being an honest and open human being with feelings and isn't afraid to show it.
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